I know I wanted to start this blog to stay positive, to focus on the good going on in our lives amidst all the chaos of extended unemployment, underemployment, mortgage drama, and dealing with social services like food stamps and medicaid for the first time in my or anyone else I know’s life. But I just can’t today. The girls are going ape shit crazy (because I think they are overtired but forcing them to rest is apparently the worst). Today has done me in. I’ve sobbed on the phone with my mom, and I don’t know what to do.

– got a call from the collections side of the mortgage company because we’re coming up on 60 days past due. apparently they don’t talk to the loan specialists who know our loan modification request finally went to the underwriters last week.

– got a letter from the state telling me we have 45 days from our notice of foreclosure to do something; now i have to sort out if there’s something i have to be worried about from the state and not just the mortgage company.

– got a letter from the food stamp office telling me we make too much money. the amount they have listed as our monthly income is a hilariously high number. it’s like they took our re-application (that you do every 3¬†months), did bad math, and ignored everything else in our account. i have a fucking college degree; i was under the impression i didn’t have to re-submit EVERYTHING, so if i did, i understand even more clearly how easy it is to go hungry. of course it’ll take about 2 months to sort out so yay! ramen for everyone in the meantime!

– went to planned parenthood for an IUD, have to go back in a week for actual insertion; have sufficiently freaked out uber conservative parents. but they take medicaid and don’t require me to wait 6 weeks for one of those rare new patient slots. i really just want to see my doctor, the one i have a 10 year relationship over 2 babies with.

– have 5 bills due this week and not enough money. husband has a separate “business” account for his handyman work (that’s about a weeks worth of ranting blog posts in and of itself) and says that money is being saved to fix his car (which has been parked out front undriveable since april) and he can’t give any to the household.

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You don’t know stress till you have to re-upload all the loan modification documents, both the initial ones and the additional information ones, to your mortgage company a month after you sent over the first batch. They were all there last week when I called to check in, why they weren’t there today I don’t know. But I at least got a loan officer on the phone who gave me her personal email (not the modification assistance general mailbox) to send these docs directly to her.

Word to the wise: always track every conversation with mortgage or home equity loan companies. Even if it’s just the date, who you spoke to, and the result that everything is “in process.” You never know when all that will be essential, even the simplest of interactions. Thank goodness I love spreadsheets.