So today’s headache is brought to you by medicaid. No surprise there, really. Long story short, we have no money, a tiny house, two insane children and the thought of a third baby makes me cry. I really really really don’t want another kid. I’m good with 2. And now that the little one is almost to kindergarten the thought of starting all over with potty training, solid food, terrible twos, threenagers, etc. just makes me want to shoot myself. For the love of all that is holy the little one at 4.5 still climbs into bed with me every fucking night. I say “me” because she will only sleep on my side and hubs is blissfully unawares on his half of the bed. An IUD seemed like an extraordinary idea. That required going to planned parenthood (#istandwithpp) or to a different OB/GYN since mine doesn’t take medicaid. As someone who has had irregular periods for 23 years, I figured it was a good idea to find another OB/GYN just in case I needed one as well. Happened upon a practice in the same medical building as my daughters’ pediatrician and they were able to see me fairly soon. IUD popped in, lovely doctor, all is well. Except for two things:

  1. While medicaid paid for the IUD and the doctor visit they decided I had other health insurance and wouldn’t cover the blood tests done. Awesome. I just got all the paperwork over to the lab to prove I don’t have other health insurance so fingers crossed that goes through.
  2. Now my OB/GYN wants to charge me 76 cents PER PAGE to transfer my records. I’ve been with that practice for over 10 years, had 2 c-sections, gestational diabetes, fibroids, cysts, PCOS, PPD, and a whole host of other fun stuff with them. My file is about 3 inches thick. 76 cents per page? I can’t afford to transfer my records!! And it’s not even like I’m transferring doctors because God willing hubs gets this job we’ll be on real insurance again and I’ll go back to my OB/GYN of 10 years and all will be well. I know that’s not really a medicaid thing except that if my doctor accepted ANY sort of medicaid I wouldn’t be in need of a new doctor and hence transferring records! It’s like at the pediatrician’s office – she doesn’t charge a form fee to the medicaid families so when I had to drop off the nursery school paperwork for the little one I didn’t have to pay the annual $25 fee for forms. Really, I don’t see why they can’t take my file, seal it in an envelope, sign off on the seal like they do with evidence bags in CSI and let me hand deliver it to the new doctor if I end of staying there for some reason. Anyway, I’ll be calling them on monday asking to take back my request to transfer records for now, or see if they can just forward a summary of the last few post-baby years.

The latest job update has us on the edge of our seats – hubs position was written into the budget for FY2016 which started on October 1st. And it was written as a real position with a real salary and benefits and vacation time and all that. The budget was approved, so we’re waiting for the trickle down effect to kick in and them to hopefully write him a job offer. The hitch would be we have no idea what the time line is and there’s still the chance they decide to put the job out there to see other candidates for some reason instead of just giving it to him (probably for formality sack to please the board as they are a NGO/non-profit). So we remain in limbo yet again. The only good thing is that if he does not get the job, he’s been with this temp position long enough that he could file for unemployment and we’d be eligible once again for food stamps.


I know I wanted to start this blog to stay positive, to focus on the good going on in our lives amidst all the chaos of extended unemployment, underemployment, mortgage drama, and dealing with social services like food stamps and medicaid for the first time in my or anyone else I know’s life. But I just can’t today. The girls are going ape shit crazy (because I think they are overtired but forcing them to rest is apparently the worst). Today has done me in. I’ve sobbed on the phone with my mom, and I don’t know what to do.

– got a call from the collections side of the mortgage company because we’re coming up on 60 days past due. apparently they don’t talk to the loan specialists who know our loan modification request finally went to the underwriters last week.

– got a letter from the state telling me we have 45 days from our notice of foreclosure to do something; now i have to sort out if there’s something i have to be worried about from the state and not just the mortgage company.

– got a letter from the food stamp office telling me we make too much money. the amount they have listed as our monthly income is a hilariously high number. it’s like they took our re-application (that you do every 3 months), did bad math, and ignored everything else in our account. i have a fucking college degree; i was under the impression i didn’t have to re-submit EVERYTHING, so if i did, i understand even more clearly how easy it is to go hungry. of course it’ll take about 2 months to sort out so yay! ramen for everyone in the meantime!

– went to planned parenthood for an IUD, have to go back in a week for actual insertion; have sufficiently freaked out uber conservative parents. but they take medicaid and don’t require me to wait 6 weeks for one of those rare new patient slots. i really just want to see my doctor, the one i have a 10 year relationship over 2 babies with.

– have 5 bills due this week and not enough money. husband has a separate “business” account for his handyman work (that’s about a weeks worth of ranting blog posts in and of itself) and says that money is being saved to fix his car (which has been parked out front undriveable since april) and he can’t give any to the household.